THE BEST PROOF OF LOVE IS TRUST.

The day that I have always waited is here - the results & class classification.
As shown below, that's my results for my modules, and as you can see, I scored really badly. And I even got a compensated pass for OMED1038 (Compensated Pass means the lecturers close one eye and give me a pass despite falling under the passing grade of 40%). I'm thankful for that; if not, I would have to repeat that module, spend more money and not graduate with my friends.
And I am really happy that I got a 75% for my Psychology Project - the route was tough, right from the beginning. I went through and worked so hard to get UoG ethics committee approval before I could proceed with my project, gathered and recruited 200 participants within a short span of 2 months, collected all consent forms and questionnaires, went through SPSS analysis, reviewed the introduction and literature review over and over again, discussed about the conclusion, limitations, future recommendations, tried to keep the project within word limit, checking the grammar, sentence structures over and over again, over and over again, and again... It was a challenging one year project, with lots of ups and downs, tears and joy, unpleasant and happiness; however, the sense of achievement and fulfillment I gain when the project was completed, printed and placed on my hand was indescribable. It's as if your hard work was on your hands; so fragile, delicate but yet touchable. I am really glad that I have a good supervisor and co-supervisor, and I am really grateful towards them, because without their endless help, patience and perseverance, I wouldn't have come so far. Even at times where I really want to give up, they are there to show me that all these are worth it and I should continue moving on. Thank you all of them.

So... I think I deserve the 75%. I am awesomely happy with it :D


And below displayed my Honors Degree Class Classification - yup. I've gotten a Second Upper Class Honors Degree. As much as I wanted a First Class Honors degree, I am glad that I fall under the Second class and not any lower. To be honest, I am not really happy even though I know I should be thankful and be satisfied. It is not difficult to know that I am so near to the First Class, and that I put in equal or maybe even more effort than D, but she could always easily beat me in everything. Needless to say, she definitely gets First Class. I know I shouldn't compare, but it is normal to feel unfairness within me, right? I am competitive (I admit) but shouldn't fairness be there always. I have worked so hard, and done a lot (at least not any lesser than D), but why she always gets the best (such as comfortable, above-average family life+financial life, gets a job so fast, has a bf and soon to be proposed/married, excellent grades and always the first in class for every single thing/module/test, perfect health...). She might not have the figure, but looking at ALL THE GOOD THINGS SHE HAS is wayyyy over an edge above the single quality of looks/figure. Isn't it unfair? Ok I should really stop comparing, but whatever it is... I am glad that I don't have to compete with her in studies anymore. And thank you Lord, for blessing me with the Second Upper Class Honors Degree. Thank you for blessing me Lord.

 

***

Enough of results after able to let down a heavy worry in my heart... I have been feeling blah (means feelings/emotions/thoughts that can't be explan) since yesterday. It can't be PMS because it ended last week. I am so confuse/lost with what I am supposed to feel and do. I have nothing to look forward to right now. Prolly this is what makes me feel this way? I have absolutely no idea.

Thus, shopping has become my saviour - I bought a jumpsuit, a maxi dress and a top within a week. I know I need to save, so I am and I WILL. I WILL NOT SPEND MONEY ON CLOTHES TILL TAIWAN.

check out the apparels I bought:

we have been in contact for 3 months.
and both of us have definitely used to each other companionship (via sms).
I was the one was used to his sms every single day; however, as I sort my thoughts and got advices from friends, I am back to the independent mode. In fact, I could feel that he is the one who needs me (via sms) now. He is used to having my sms in his life, I suppose. But the real issue is... what are we? I am not expecting something out of this sms-companionship relationship, but you can't expect me to just go with the flow.
Since I can't get an answer from myself, and from him, I guess I shall just wait. Everything will be crystal clear one day; maybe soon, maybe in future. All I know is, I won't be vex or upset over him because this is nothing more than sms-friendship.
anyway, I'm used to it.



So recently, I have been feeling really moody and low self-esteem. I have no reason why, but I get moody out of the blue, or I feel that I am getting fatter each day (maybe I am, looking the rate I eat and slack). I feel fats all over me, and I feel myself getting flabbier. I get jealous of those blogshop girls who are tall and slim; and I get pissed when I saw the B&J girls. They are so skinny, slim and tall, yet they always say they want to lose weight. I will be pissed by just looking at their pictures. If they think they are flabby and fat, please look at me! please fucking look at me! I am short, fleshy, flabby and fat. fml.

and I have the sudden urge to run away/take a break/ (even though I am already on break).
But what I mean is to go overseas... I need to get out of here.
I'm a Drapetomania.



okay I will go on extreme diet again.

Dear Lord
Please bless my teeth; let them be strong and healthy
Remove the pain, the swell, the redness.
Please bring miracle to my teeth and let them be strong and healthy.
I promise I will continue watching what I eat, how I eat,
and what I drink, how I drink.
Please bless my teeth.
Let them be strong and healthy.

Dear Lord
Please bless my degree results.
Please let me get good grades, good marks.
You have seen my hard work through my education route
I persevered and completed my studies till today.
Please bless my results
and allow me to get good Honors Degree Certificate.
Lord, please bring miracle to my results.
I have come so far, and you have seen me walked so far
Please bless my degree results.
Let me graduate with my friends.

Dear Lord
Please bless my family, loved ones and all my friends
Let them have clarity of mind, and positive thinking.
Please bless them with pink of health.

Dear Lord
I will continue holding on to the faith.
I will believe in you.
Show me you exist.
Let me see you in your way.
Bless me in your way.
Guide me in the right path Lord.
I will trust you,
so I hope you will listen to my prayers
and bless my teeth, my results and my loved ones.

I pray all these in Jesus' name.

Amen.

one week without R starts now.
Hope he'll be fine, and spread the love to all the people in Japan. (:

I am happy cos...
1) I got 75% for my Psychology Project. omg.. thanks God for the wonderful result! My efforts are paid off (:

2) met the Hot Dad two times today - he saw me at my workplace and at his place when I was teaching piano. OMG! how can someone be so cute, macho, and handsome. He is just so PERFECT! :D

3) R visited me at work today, and I finally get to see him. Though it's just a short 5/10 mins, but I am satisfied and happy just as it is. He is leaving for Japan this saturday, which means we won't be in contact for a week. boohoo..

okay... it's just an awesome day today! <3

 
because you don't text me as and when you want.
you don't come and go in my life, and expect me to be there whenever you want me to.
I am not your puppet; I am not someone you treat as trash.

If you want such a girl, you can't find here.

Find her elsewhere.

If you truly want me, truly miss me, and truly care for me, prove to me.
Show me; if not, don't blame me for my disappearance or negligence.

Boy, you have to work harder.